zazzle-poetry:

you could be the guy with the hats

narwhal-noir:

I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”

Queer Horror Story: I Was a Teenage Cishet Male

prostitourettes:

me in da club: yes of course ill buy you a drink who are you

shavingryansprivates:

breakingipods:

blowjcb:

blowjcb:

what would happen if i actually shared porn on facebook

image

IM LAUGHING SO HARD PLEASE HELP ME

I’m just wondering why the word like is replaced with brohoof what the fuck is a brohoof

it means a brony posted porn on facebook

drdemented:

Instead of saying “MAN UP”, you should say “TANK UP”.

Because you know, when you’re the tank in a group, you’re taking the hits. Which is kind of what the first expression is aiming for.

Except this one is gender neutral.

When you get to the last episode of an anime
Before episode:
me: theres no way they can end it all in one episode
After episode:
me: they ended it all in one episode

chauvinistsushi:

contraception:

the goal is to love myself so much it offends other people

image

what was that gif

maxnormaltv:

imadad3:

but what is it

sick of these GENDERISTS, they are always smoking “progesterone” and “estrogen” (new street drugs) next to the dumpster behind McDonald’s and telling me i’m “het”